At some point in each person's life we start to notice that the same patterns keep coming up for us again and again. Maybe we start to notice we are picking the same kind of person in our relationships or maybe it is in our job or school environment that we notice these patterns. The negative and unwanted patterns that keep repeating are there because of a pattern of self-sabotage on our part. We are holding some negative belief about ourselves, others or life in general. When we hold beliefs in our subconscious mind they soon manifest in our conscious mind and then in the patterns in our lives. The key to loving ourselves is to discover and eliminate our self-sabotaging beliefs in our subconscious mind and to train our conscious mind to think positive thoughts.

   So why would we develop and hold onto negative thoughts about ourselves in a way that creates self-sabotage in our lives? This is a hard one for people to come to understand. It can be difficult to understand why we would want to experience pain and suffering over and over again, and yet we do. From the day we enter into this world we are evaluating our world and how we fit into it. We begin to form beliefs about the world around us, our family and ourselves. We are desperately trying to figure our role and place in this life. Sometimes we develop negative beliefs about what role we play in life and how other feel about us. It is said that we have a stronger need to belong then to be loved or to positively contribute to life. So it really does not matter to us when we are young if we develop negative or positive beliefs as long as those beliefs help us define how we belong in the world. If we have negative role models or trauma in our early lives then it is almost certain that we will develop negative beliefs in our subconscious mind. We then will take every chance we can as we continue in life to create experiences that support the way we belong in this world.

   In order to understand self-sabotage you need to understand the role our subconscious mind and how the beliefs held there work in our lives. Our subconscious minds main job is to keep us alive and to hold onto any beliefs that will make that happen no matter how painful an experience might be if we live through it then the subconscious mind sees that as a success. The subconscious mind is also very resistant to changing beliefs that are formed early on in life. In fact it is always creating situations in your life to prove it's self-right no matter how negative the patterns might be. So when we talk about the difference between self-love and self sabotage the difference is in the beliefs you hold in your subconscious mind. Either you have negative beliefs about yourself there or positive beliefs about yourself. You can tell which ones you are holding there by what patterns are showing up in your life. 

So how do you change the negative to positive?

You have to go to the time and reason the negative belief was created and release that negative belief and replace it with a positive one. The techniques that I use are specially designed to go to the core issues in the subconscious mind and eliminate any negative beliefs and replace them with positive ones.

Liesl Anderson C.H.t, RET, EFT      503-998-7775